Words of an aborted baby....

Would It Have Been That Much Trouble?

Would it have been that much trouble to keep me,
oh, to let me live my life?
Would it really have ruined your life to have had me,
did you have to end my life?

I promise I would have been good, I would have behaved,
I couldn't wait to see you.
Your hugs and kisses were the only things I craved,
But you had dreams to pursue.

I wasn't trying to mess up your life, I promise,
I just thought that you loved me.
I wasn't trying make you upset, I promise,
But, you just didn't want me.

Mommy, do you ever think of who I could have been,
oh, or what I might have done?
Do you even think about me at all, how it could have been,
if it all had been undone?

We could have played together, even laughed together,
we would have had lots of fun!
I'd have picked flowers for you, and we'd be together,
yes, we'd have had lots of fun.

Mommy, my dear mommy, Oh, I just want you to know,
I never stopped loving you
I forgive you for ending my life, don't you know,
Me and God, we still love you!

~Cara~

Questions.....

I wrote this poem a couple of days ago. It is written with a specific person in mind that I love and hate to see living the life that they persist in living. No, you do not get to know who the person is. I know the poem isn't any good, from a poetic view, but.....it was from my heart, my soul. These questions are what I wish I knew the answers to, from the person they are addressed to in the poem. They are the questions, half the time I want to scream and yell out at the person, and half the time, cry whilst asking them. So, it's not a very good poem, but, I don't write poems just to sound good. My poems come from inside of me. They are what I feel.

Questions
If I dared to speak up,
if I dared to ask you,
If I dared to try and talk to you,
This is just what I would want to know.

How can you be so surrounded by love,
How can you live in such a loving home,
Oh, How can you receive daily such love,
And still from the Lord, continue to roam?

Why must you be so stupid and selfish,
Why won't you turn your life over to God,
Oh, Why won't you just stop being so selfish,
Why must you push away from the Lord God?

Do you gotta hurt so many people,
Do you gotta be just so unfeeling,
Do you have to pain so many people,
Oh, can't you be towards others, more feeling?

Just what is it that makes you act like this.
What makes you value your life so little,
Oh, What makes you act like this,
Don't you value your life just a little?

If I dared to speak up,
if I dared to ask you,
If I dared to try and talk to you,
This is just what I would want to know.

~Cara~

Three crazy friends, two amazing horses, and one day = pure bliss!

Complete bliss, I might add!!!!!! And by the way I'm in love........and I don't care who knows! His name is Max, and he is a fat, lazy, stubborn, willful, cranky...horse!!!!!! And I love him to bits! He put up with hours upon hours of having fat me sitting on top of him. And having him canter like crazy! That poor horse was ready to drop at the end of the day. Anyway, to start at the beginning of my story, yesterday, *Jane* and her parents picked me up to take me to go riding with *Jane* and another good friend Amanda. They're Amanda's horses that we rode. I can now ride a horse(sorta) and get him to walk, trot, and canter, as well as back up! And I was in heaven the whole time! I've wanted to ride ever since I can remember, wanted a horse, ever since I was born I think, and I've wanted to jump horses for about as long! So I was pretty happy! I even did jump a little, tiny, itsy, bitty, jump!!!! I'm hoping to jump bigger ones soon! I totally spoiled Max, bribed his love, pretty much! And am proud of it! Apples, Carrots, sugar lumps.....I brought them all! Of course, cantering him as much as I did, I probably undid all of the love I had earned through the bribing!

Anywho, it was so AWESOME and I had a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to go riding again! I could have stayed all night with the horses, I had so much fun. Though my rear end hurt at the end of the day, and my back is killing me today!!!!! It was so worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and My Best Boy!
*Jane* jumping Scooter the horse

Amanda on Scooter
The Three Crazy Friends and Two Amazing(as well as stubborn, punk) Horses!
Amanda, on Scooter, *Jane* and me, on Max

Photography, courtesy of *Jane*'s father, Chuck!

(and yes, I'm calling Max my best boy, *Jane* and Amanda! I know he's your's first, but I can call him my best boy if I want!) :)

The Dream....

Last night I had a dream
A sea of faces drifted before my eyes.
Some were weeping loudly,
While others glared in anger, filled with despise.

Their eyes penetrated,
deep within my soul, stabbing me like a knife.
Some were filled with despair,
Others full of bitterness, anger, and strife.

Their blank stares made me ache,
And their eerie wailing moans, they haunted me.
It hurt to see them there,
so empty and lost, unable to be free.

Suddenly I realized,
with a shudder that ran up and down my back
The faces that I saw,
were of those who are lost, and God's truth they lack.

Cara

The Revealing Of . . . My Boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have a WHAT? I know...I know....my friends never thought it'd happen, and will probably be in speechless shock once they find out. But it's true. I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who has been a secret for some time. But now, I'm revealing his identity! I have pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Oh, he's so bad to the bone!

plays guitar too!

Here he is stealing a kiss!

Can you handle seeing him with his shirt off?!

Oh.....What a guy! Sorry, he's SO taken!

Gone....

In the (last name) house live Buddy
Who's head is fully of puddy
So Cara wouldn't stuck her thumb
He was gotten my Cara's Mum
No he's no where to be found
Took a train out of town
But he'll be back
Right on track

The above was written by my dear friend, *Jane*. The inspiration for this poem? My cats gone; missing; lost. And as to whether he really will be back, right on track, there is little hope in the house-hold of that. I know that he wouldn't run away, he likes his food too much to leave it, and I would think that if he was hurt he would come home to get help. Or to recover at home. I had hoped, at first, that he had just gotten hurt and he'd either crawl home, or we'd find him; or that someone had trapped him and taken him to the animal shelter. But, he's been gone five days now, and unless he was very badly hurt, he wouldn't let a stranger come near him. So, we are thinking that he was probably some other large kitty's(as in mountain lion) meal, or some other animals meal. We left a poster with a picture and description of him at the animal shelter, and I keep hoping that they'll call, saying that he's there......but I know they won't. And I miss my Buddy Cat!

Mom and I did come up with a theory though. We decided that he ran off and eloped, and right now he's on his honey-moon! Reckless, selfish lovers! He should know better then to do something like that. He's seven years old, old enough to take responsibilty! Tisk tisk tisk!

:)

God be with our soldiers!