Daughter of the King

I don't date. I love the look of surprise and shock on peoples faces after I proclaim this statement. Some are worried I won't be able to find a husband, because of my radical notion, while others get offended, because they or their children date(d), and either attack me, or simply walk off, nettled and aggravated. There are those who ask me how on earth I think I'm going to find a spouse if I don't date, and there are those who want to know why on earth I don't. Then there are the very few who nod their heads and say, “That's interesting. But what exactly are you going to do to find a husband, if your not dating?” Pretty much all of them think I'm kinda weird though. I don't care, I'm use to being though weird. And I am. I am not your average girl, and I don't meet the standards of this world. And you know what? I don't want to be. I am not going to play the dating game, like the rest of this world. I am not going to try guy after guy, like trying new kinds of cosmetics. I am worth waiting for, and so is my future husband. The dating system is a corrupted system that is simply a game that people play. Its focus is how dating this guy, or this girl, can benefit you. How can my wants be satisfied; how can my desires be fulfilled; how can my lust be gratified. But shouldn't we try to please God, and not us. How God's wants for my life be fulfilled; how can God's desires for my relationships be gratified. Should not we let God write our love story, with out interfering with what He, our Lord and Savior, wants. He wants only the best for us, and He loves us so much he died for us, so I think he can handle writing our love stories. If we are constantly dating, flirting, and playing around with guy after guy( or even just one or two guys) what are we going to have left for our future husband, whom God has picked out for us? If we have slowly frittered away our hearts, what will be left of them for our husbands? Would you not want to give your husband all your heart, all your love? How can you do that, if you have given so many other guys, or even just one guy, pieces of your heart, your emotions, your love, your lips, and perhaps even your virginity and your body? Joshua Harris, in his book, 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye”,which by the way, is one of my favorite authors, had a story about one of his friends' dreams.

*“It was finally here----Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family.
Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly toward the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Is this some kind of joke?” she whispered to David.
“I'm...I'm sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor.
“Who are these girls, David? What is going on?” she gasped.
“They're the girls from my past,” he answered sadly. “Anna, they don't mean anything to me now...but I've given part of my heart to each of them.”
“ I thought your heart was mine,” she said.
“It is, it is,” he pleaded. “Everything that's left is yours.”
A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.

How many men or women do you want lined up next to you on your wedding day? How many times do you want to give your heart away in short-termed relationships? Will you have anything left of your heart to give to your husband or wife? Do you want to take from girls and guys what isn't yours but their future spouses? Do you want to give away what rightfully belongs to your future spouse? Now, I know that I don't want men lining up next to me on my wedding day. I don't want to give my heart away time and time again in short termed relationships. I want to be able to give my whole heart to my husband. I don't wish to steal what doesn't belong to me, and I have no right in taking, away from other girls. If your future husband or wife was watching you with your boyfriend or girlfriend, do you think he/she would be smiling. Do you think he'd be applauding you as you kissed your boy/girl friend? Do you think he'd be grinning as you were flirting with some guy or girl? I don't think so. In fact I would think that he'd be seething with anger and hurt. He'd probably want to knock the block off of the guy who you were with. And your future wife; she would probably be standing there and depending on her temperament, would have tears welling up and running down her cheeks, or she would be gritting her teeth in hurt and anger, and would chew you out, as well as slap you. No thank you, I don't date, and no one asking me to go out on a date with him could ask me in such a way that could possibly tempt me! I would rather go the safer godlier way of courtship and betrothal, where marriage is th assumed outcome of the relationship, in which case, both people involved are mature enough to get married. Yes, people can and do still get hurt in such relationships, and yes, people can and still do things they shouldn't be doing with each other with each other. But, a lot less then people in dating relationships, and there is a lot more communication and safety inside the courtship approach. Of course, courtship is different for everyone and there is no one right way to do it. I intend to save my kiss for the altar. I would rather we were never alone together and that there is always a trusted adult with us. I would like to save hand holding and most physical touch for when I am engaged. And if my parents do not wish for us to court, or marry, I will respect their wishes for they are my parents and my authority, next to God.

I know that what I have said will offend and annoy a lot of people, but, I really don't care. I am an opinionated young lady, and like I said, I'm not your average girl. I am not going to act like everybody in the world, because I am average. God sets my standards. I despise dating and the dating system. But I have friends who do dating and 'dateship', and I love them. I can not find dating good and okay under any circumstances though and abhor it, along with the things that go along with it, like flirting and chasing after boys. I am not saying that I have never done these things. I have. I'm not perfect, I am a sinner like everyone else. I have flirted, I have chased, I have sort of kind of had a dating relationship with a guy. But I have been forgiven by Christ, and I have repented and turned from my sin. I no longer flirt with guys, I no longer chase after boys, and as I said in the beginning, I don't date.

I'm not saying that I'm not attracted to boys any longer, or that I don't have occasional crushes, I do. God created men and women to be attracted to each other. But He also wants us to exercise self control. And when I have crushes on guys, instead of dwelling on them, I try to dwell on Christ, and to pray, and spend time with my Lord. I don't always do this, but I try to, because I see crushes as time away from God; time spent uselessly dreaming of the guy, and constantly thinking on the guy, instead of thinking on my Lord and Savior, and spending my time doing what Christ wants me to do.

God is writing my love story, and I don't have to chase after guys, and date this one and that to 'catch' myself a husband. God has the man that he wants me to marry picked out for me, and in God's timing, not mine, I will court and marry that man. Until that, I'm single, and though I don't always like that fact, I try to remember that it is a blessing to be single. I can do certain things for my Jesus, that I would not be able to do as easily as a married woman. I have a more flexible schedule and ya know what?! I would rather let God have control of my life, including my love story, then try to take over and screw things up.
God is writing my love story, I've kissed dating goodbye, and I don't date.

* 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' by Joshua Harris, chapter one