Overwhelming Confusion

It's strange how empty one can feel inside. A hundred happy, joyous, fun things can be going on in their life, and yet still, emptiness and a completely despondent feeling can be flooding their soul. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt so restless, empty, and hopelessly dismal, and yet you know that you have no cause for it? Not only that, but you know the truth, you know God's truth and His great promises. You know that He is everything and you know all the Bible verses that are suppose to comport you and lift you out of your mire of despondence. You know all the right things to do....that you should be seeking God and saturate yourself in His word and through that, you will be lifted out of your despondence. You know all things that are hopeful, joyous and fulfilling. Yet, you just keep sitting in that mire, slopping around in the stagnant muck, confused at why you are lacking in intelligence, wondering what your problem is. I'm sitting in that mire. I hate that stagnant swamp of stench. Yet I'm sitting in it, slopping around in the muck, quite determined to stay right there in the mire. Overwhelmed by life, confused by my lack of intelligence, and irritated beyond belief at my determination to remain seated in a pile of stinking, rotting, muck. I know God's promises. I know all those verses of encouragement and comfort. I remind myself daily that I have a very blessed life, and I believe that I do have a very blessed life.....I am thankful for my blessed life. Yet, here I sit; discontent, unsatisfied, unfulfilled. My God sits and waits for me to come talk to Him, but I never come. My Bible sits near by. It has been opened and it has been read. It is not collecting dust. Yet there is no connection between myself and God. I read it in hopes of motivation to collect myself and climb out of this mire. I pray to the Lord to heal family members, to keep them safe, and to be with them, I thank Him for blessing my life with them, I thank Him for all the blessings he bestows upon me. All the while, He is waiting for me to ask Him to help me out of the suffocating mess I'm wallowing in. The worst part of it all is that I know all of this. Yet I still sit in the mire of despondency, wallowing in stinking, rotting muck. God just watches and shakes His head in sorrow. The Devil, meanwhile, cackles in pleasure, more than pleased about the way things are in my life. With me sitting in his despondent mire of stench, he continues to supply the swamp with the rotting muck. When I make a slight, feeble attempt to rise out of the mire, he grins and pushes his foot against me, knocking me back down into the muck. God sighs and shakes His head, first at the Devil, and then at me. His hand is out-reached, waiting for mine to grab hold. His hand has been there from the very first moment I stepped foot in the mire of despondence. My hand, however, has remained in the mire. The Lord can satisfy me, He can fulfill me, He can fill me with contentment and peace, but, only do this if I take His hand. Of course, I already knew that. I know it....but do not do it. Application got stranded in the mire with me, and sunk to the bottom. Perhaps I should grab on to God's outstretched hand, find application, and remove myself from this mire. Easier said then done though......God may be able to do all these things for me, but it will still require work. Yes, God will do the most work, but He still asks of me to work too. I have a choice. I know which choice I should make. I know which choice will be good and which choice will be bad. I know....but will I act on my knowledge?